Over the last month or so my time in the studio has been spent doing bits of drawing, but mostly tidying up, sorting and discarding all sorts of equipment, materials, and work. 

I’m pretty much ready now for the open studios event here on 19/20th September (see attached flyer). My room is tidy and the table is clean.

Trouble is, I don’t know what to make.

I have done enough of the little collage/drawings. I don’t want to make any more of what I have already got. But I am not sure what I want to do next. It’s a precarious time. I’m in danger of falling down a hole. I don’t know what to make now. I have a few trains of thought, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to actual making.

I’m going to put away the materials I have been working with, and will get out something different to see what that might do.

I do want to do a large drawing, but I have run out of fuel… by which I mean I need to go out into the woods to feed my brain with observations, sounds, smells… At the moment it is a very vague idea… there are dens and nests and holes in the ground… but if I did it now I know it wouldn’t be good enough. I need data. What do you call it? Fuel? Data? Information? Refreshment? Context. Yes. Context I think. My studio is not The Woods… however many sticks and lichens I bring in!

So I think I will get the open studio event out of the way, then take myself off into the wilds of Worcestershire and soak it up a bit. Otherwise the quality of what I make descends into a spiral… and by quality I don’t mean how “good” it is – well not totally – but the essence of what I make must be grounded in reality. I can’t forget what real twigs look like, or what moss feels like, or the quality of what I draw is neither twiggy enough nor mossy enough. 

So instead of beating myself up about drawing, I think I need to be reading a few things instead. I need to look at what I have already made, decide what to put up/take down, And look at it all until I really like it. And think about it all until it echoes my thoughts. I need to appreciate, consolidate, establish parameters and polish up my metaphors. I want some poetry on my walls…

I have a selection of books full of folk tales from both Ireland and Serbia… I think I need to sit back and soak these up for a while… I wonder if I can find similarities between them?