My studio wall now is covered in fairy tales, and surreal images and narratives. I had no intention towards this, but this is where the work led when I followed my thoughts. I’m not sure how ready this work is for the public consumption of an open studio weekend. I shall however, pursue it and make a last minute decision about what I feel confident talking about. I think it would be foolish to come out half-baked. Those conversations are ok for other artists I think, who recognise the ebbs and flows of studio working, but perhaps not the general public? Other artists in my close network can be trusted with those tentative conversations about the work… so I will see. I am happy with how it os at the moment, but I still have questions to ask of these little drawings.

The only important eyes really are mine I suppose. If this work is a way for me to understand and translate and present ideas prompted by childhood – very specifically my own childhood, then surely I am the only one that matters? Anyone else who comes along for the ride is a bonus. I must also consider that it isn’t necessary for every studio visitor to get it. It is possible to enjoy the imagery without any knowing of me or my life.

I read things that strike a chord, I take them on and use them for a while. It might be a scientific theory; a piece of writing by someone else, poem, song, or story; or something philosophical or spiritual.

My purpose as an artist is not to take these chords and re-test theories, re-write the story, or redefine faith. It is to absorb, consider, interpret, then show and tell others and watch and listen to their responses. I don’t need to take on these responses, but I can choose and use as I see fit. Respond further as I see fit. (Given my own personal train of thought.)

I am looking at my childhood and considering how that childhood effects me as an adult. And indeed as an artist. I am reconsidering relationships to others, to places, and to situations.

I am reading and re-reading constantly The Disappearance of Rituals by Byung-Chul Han, at the same time as Faith, Hope and Carnage by Nick Cave and Sean O’Hagan. I compare and contrast the two, finding connections. These two books have me approaching that childhood of enforced religion, solitude, grief, habits and received wisdom in slightly different ways. I have a skewed view, and it is showing me things I didn’t know were there.

With these thoughts in my head, I make, and as I make, the materials and their contexts tell me more…

I am “Thinging” 

“Things have a special place in human cognitive life and evolution. We think “with” and “through” things, not simply “about” things. In that sense, things occupy the middle space in between what are usually referred to as mind and matter. Material-engagement theory provides a way to describe and study that middle space where brain, body, and culture are conflated.”

(From Abstract of Thinking as “Thinging”: Psychology With Things by Lambros Malafouris 2019)

So I am not quite sure where I will be with all this by September 19/20th for the open studio. I am pretty sure it won’t matter, but I would like to feel a bit more confident about not feeling confident talking about it!