You Can Never Leave…

I’ve been struggling a bit since the exhibition.

It’s right that each exhibition becomes a little pinnacle at which you can assess progress, and where you are and what’s important.

And then move on… maybe down a different alley, a tangent, a crossroads… I keep going down the alley, taking a wrong turn and end up where I started, but facing a different direction, and I dive down a new alley… but that peters out and I’m lost… but in the same place.

Lost.

The old ways seem tired.

The new ways seem contrived.

The current drawing I’ve already written off, but in view of the cost of the paper, I’m using it as an experimental ground for some different techniques… in an attempt to find something I want to pursue.

It’s got so bad this afternoon I just thought maybe the whole thing is a dead end and I should get back to stitching.

But I know in my heart that’s not the way either.

I’m not in the studio till Tuesday or Wednesday , so I’ll look with rested eyes then… or get someone else to look with me.

Stage 1
The charcoal is too crude, although the making of it is delicious, it doesn’t match up… If I stick with the charcoal I will have to ditch everything else.

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Stage 2
With a layer of graphite… mismatched… is that a good thing or not?

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Stage 3
I’ve knocked back the charcoal by scrubbing, then fixing a layer of chalk over the top. Tonally this is better but the method of getting here far too complicated and contrived and inelegant somehow, I like my method to be fairly simple. This is not simple. it feels clumsy and therefore ugly.

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