Sluggishness and Enforced Jollity


Allegorical: Burnt mince pies.

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It’s arrived.

The post-christmas slump.

Possibly it is caused in part by a horrible cold, and in part by poor diet rather than alcohol, as I don’t drink much. I feel sluggish and cold and sad. I won’t use the term depressed, as that is something different. What I feel is a reaction to what is going on around me, rather than a clinical, untraceable thing.

At best, in the past I’ve been “not bothered” by the New Year and its associated celebrations and rituals. At worst, I hate it. So much is invested in turning a page on a calendar, that it can’t fail to disappoint. The Enforced Jollity that goes on is a farce… Happiness isn’t compulsory. Happiness isn’t a right. Not everyone gets to feel happy. So I’ve always had this feeling of vague guilt around this time of the year, that by me being ostentatiously celebratory, I am rubbing salt into the wounds of those less fortunate. I’ll be content with a mild contentment. So I suppose what I am is generally, mildly content, with waves of sadness.

But that condition doesn’t really motivate. I am sluggish. Sluggish is the word. Once my diet gets back to normal that will help. Increased movement and fresh air will help. Routine will help. I think, despite not teaching on a regular basis now for a couple of years, I still fall into the school holiday thing. I shouldn’t.

Just reading this back and it all sounds very grim. I apologise. That isn’t my intention. I’m scene setting I suppose… out of this comes something else, something better.

I am aware that 2017 could be a very busy year. I’ve got a few things bubbling away on the back burner. I am aware I should rest and build energy for the onslaught… but here I am pacing, on the track behind the blocks, waiting to get going. No one does anything from December 20th to January 5th it seems. So I will have to wait won’t I? But I’m impatient. Not good at waiting.


One thought on “Sluggishness and Enforced Jollity

  1. New Year on 1st Jan is meaningless yo those us who used to or still do work in education – I always to feel my “best” evening was the one in July when we broke up and we had the whole summer holiday ahead of us! I spent most of it at school but even so…


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