Blog writing has been a bit sparse of late. It has been a weird year, so far, and the work I’ve done doesn’t seem very focussed. I’m flitting about not really knowing what to do. Writing about not knowing what to write about seems somewhat futile!

The other day, while doing the doom scrolling thing across the socials, Facebook presented to a me a series of memories, as usual. But this batch was unusually focussed on just the visual art I had been posting on that particular day over the last 15 years. Interesting. A little series of retrospective snapshots just for me. It gave me pause for thought. It seemed to me that I liked/valued the work I had done 5/8/12 years ago more that the work I was doing now. It that a rose-tinted glasses thing, hindsight being what it is? Or do I genuinely believe that the work was “better”?

If so, why is it better?

Maybe it comes down to meaning? By the time I posted the photos, and by the time a number of years have passed, I know what the work is about. I have often said that I don’t always know while making, and that I trust that at some point the meaning will find me. I’ve probably also said something along the lines of “Well it had better hurry up, because I have no idea what I am doing!’

Suffice it to say, confidence is currently pretty low. The work in the studio is a hotchpotch of all sorts of things, I keep going at it, but nothing is “sticking” yet. I’ve considered going back to making more of the things that I think are better, but that’s not right either, because the story has moved on. I have moved on.

So with that in mind, I think I need some sort of plan, to keep me in the studio, making. Because being at home is not going to see anything get made is it? I am fortunate that my studio is light and warm, and not far from home. But the trip from my warm bed to a cold car is much further, especially when my joints are aching.

(Note: new knee is fine, but my other joints are feeling the cold too)

I have a busy non-art week ahead, so I have tomorrow I can spend there, and also next Friday. So I shall take some warming soup, some snacks, dress up warm and do something. By the time I get to mid December every year, things start to slow down for about a month anyway. I would like to start the new year with a bit more in my mind than “the old work was better”.